Vielse ved Imam

Hej
Jeg tænkte på... hvordan forgår en vielse ved en imam ? kan i som er blevet gift ikke fortælle lidt om det?

Det er jo sådan at jeg skal giftes og vi har snakket om at vi bliver gift i dk i feburar og så senere i tyrkiet ved en imam.

trine

Jamen vores vielse er kke gældende, kun i vores og familiens hjerter, og ja, det er sq nok oz det vigtigste

Nå men vi fik en IMAM hjem til oz (Cuma og min lejlighed) Rita og Sükrü var der oz, eftersom vi blev viet på samme dag, af samme IMAM.

Nå men vi skulle alle bede først, det er en speciel måde man skal bade på, man skal vaske alt ting 3 gange og i en bestemt rækkefølge, mens man citerer nogle ord (som jeg ikke husker, sorry)

Mændene sad i stuen, vi måtte ikke røre ved hinanden efter den rensende vask

Vi skulle have tøj på der ikke viste ben eller arme og så tørklæde som dækkede håret. DET var sq grænseoverskridende.

Så forklarede IMAMEN oz om hvad han ville sige og spørge oz om.
Mændene skulle love oz kvinder noget hvis det skulle ske at vi skulle skilles igen. Dette skulle vi acceptere og IMAMEN skrev det ned på papir.
Så skulle vi sidde parvis foran ham mens han talet til oz og spurgte oz om den samme ting 3 gange, her skulle vi blot sige EVET og så fik vi det papir med løftet på, og det var det

Så nu har vi bryllupsdag den 19 januar

undskyld jeg spørg men hvad er ( ksl )

Ææææ hvor ser du (ksl) - kan være en stavbøf fra min side

Du forklarte våre bryllup meget fint, Christina

Og man må også ha 2 vitner. Som måtte være menn?

Så våre menn var hverandres vitner, og så var det også èn mann til der som også fungerte som vitne.

Det var veldig høytidelig, og Christina hadde vært veldig flink med å tenne mange stearinlys.

Ja det er da sandt Rita, vi måtte ha 2 vidner, og det skulle være mænd, fordi vi ikke var muslimer (og stadig ikke er) - Men hvis begge parter var muslimer var det vist lidt anderledes ikk ?
Hihi - vi vik oz kage

Ja, om vi var kvinnelige muslimer så hadde vi nok vært gode nok som vitner

Ja, vi spiste kake, og så gikk vi også ut og spiste god mat. Det var parader og flagg i gatene for oss og alle bilene tutet. Der var også et stort fyrverkeri.

Neida, jeg bare tuller.. ha-ha

Det var ingen stor feiring, men det var som et lite intimbryllup. Veldig hyggelig.

Tror desværre ikke Cuma er i DK den 19 januar.. HMM - måske jeg slulle rykke hans tur herop, så han er her på den dato, of så kunne vi blive gift den dag igen - og hvis Sükrü er i Norge, kunne vi mødes i Sverige (på halvvejen)

Og gifte oss i Sverige? hehe

Sverige er ikke på halvveien. Det er faktisk like kort vei for meg til Danmark som til DK egentlig :-)

Men tror du ikke Cuma er i DK i januar..? Dere skal søke visum i november eller så? Det er vel ikke sååå lang behandlingstid vel? :-)

Jeg mente selvfølelig å si at det er like kort vei for meg til DK som til Sverige. Skrivefeil...beklager :-)

Vi ville søge den 23 okt til den 11 jan - fordi min veninde vil se ham til sin 30 års fødselsdag den 25 okt, men nu tror jeg at jeg vil rykke det til 2 nov, så kan han blive til 25 jan.. Men det kunne jo oz bare være fint at se Sverige sammen jo, nu hvor de er her.
Hvilken dato går I efter ?
HAHA, vi laver det helt om til et chat room her

Ja, vi lager det til en chat hehe

Vi har ingen spesiell dato for øyeblikket, men Sükrü sier at han uansett må arbeide ut sesongen, for å tjene opp penger. Men jeg håper også det kan bli fra november eller så. Så vi har helt sikkert et felles tidspunkt hvor våre menn er i våre land samtidig, og da kan vi så klart reise til Sverige. Så kan de få se Sverige også

Men du må velge; om det er din venninnes fødselsdag som er viktigst eller om det er deres bryllupsdag. Det er vel viktigere at Cuma er der på deres bryllupsdag?
Han får jo treffe din venninne uansett

Hmmm... må jeg ringe til en livline.. Tænke tænke hæhæhæhæ.. Min bryllupsdag trækker nok LIDT mere

( ksl ) står lige efter der hvor du har skrevet imamem med store bogstaver

haha det ved jeg sq ikk.. en blanding af fede fingre og en telefonsamtale tror jeg

Til jer, der gider læse på engelsk, har jeg tidligere skrevet et indlæg om Halils og mit bryllup:

Traditions vary from family to family and region to region. My husband is Turkish (not Kurdish), coming from a well educated, but slightly conservative family (Adana is predominantly conservative).

My husband and I got married in November 2005 in Adana. We had a traditional Turkish wedding.

1st. day: Imam Nikah

We got married at my husband's brother's house in the village, which he traditionally comes from. The village hoca/imam performed the wedding ritual. First we did the abdest (the traditional muslim cleansing ritual), then I wore white clothes covering the body as well as two big white laced scarfs covering my head.

My husband's uncle and two older brothers witnessed the wedding. The ceremony was performed in arabic, but the imam was very kind and spoke slowly, whenever I had to say something. Prior to the ceremony he spent time explaining me the meaning of the thing he would say. After the ceremony he spent a long time with my husband explaing him about marriage life.

Finally we ate cezerye, and a messenger went around to neighbouring houses offering it to them as well.

2nd. day: Kinna night
Normally this night is held at the bride's home, but since my home was far away we combined it with the party outside the groom's home.

My husband and dressed, did hair and I make-up at home. I wore a knee high black dress, with long black boots and a long red jacket to go with it. Quick chic and not too overly dressy, but all my upperbody was covered.

When the party was packed my husband's family called and we went to his older brother's house (normally this is the father's house, but my in-laws had passed away at the time). A pole was raised on top of the roof, from which a Turkish flag, a lemon, apple, onion and mirror.

Food had been prepared for the closest relatives and eaten inside the home prior to our arrival.

When we arrived in the decorated car, it was to a regular street party. There was a small stage in front of the house where 2 muscians played traditional Turkish music. We had the first dance alone. While dancing a lot of money was put on our heads by various family members. After the first dance we were joined by other couples. We had a big table in the middle decorated with flowers. Everyone else were sitting on chairs around us. Maybe there were about 300 people there.

We danced, and danced and danced. I danced with many members in my husband's family. There was also Halay.

Later in the evening the Kinna was presented along with lit candles on silver trays. The men retreated to the house and the girls sorrounded me with the trays. One was given to me, others were passed around to the girls. The danced with me or circled around me with the trays raised over the head. When the dancing was done, they placed me on a chair. The kinna was placed in the palms of my hands (as agreed on the day before), and each hand was covered by a red silk "bag". Then my head was covered with a red silk scarf. The womed then placed themselves around me, while and older women was singing a sad, sad song.

The reason for the head being traditionally covered completely at this point, is so the bride has the chance to cry over the loss of her family, as she will move to the grooms house the following day.

Once they were done, my husband was fetched from the house, and he came to uncover my head. Then I was presented with gold jewellery from his family.

The rest of the evening was spent, dancing and having fun.

Once over around midnight, my husband took me to a really classy nightclub (he used to be the boss there). We listened to music and talked a little before going home.

3rd. day: Düğün/Gelin Alma
I went to have my nails done in the morning and after that to the hairdresser with the girls in the family. Then headed back to the house to wear my dress. My husband's sisters were there to help me. I wore a really beautiful white dress with a long train and a veil.

Once ready my husband and his family came to pick me up (he had brought a bucket of beautiful white roses for me).

The cars were all really decorated with Turkish flags and ribbons. Once I was inside the car, we drove around Adana for about an hour. Everybody were following our car, hunking their horning... making a lot of noise :-)

First we went to the wedding photographer, but had to leave again as the electricity went off due to heavy rain showers (it was in November).

We then drove to the "Düğün salonu", which is a place that hosts weddings. When arriving loads of confetti was thrown on us as we went inside. We had dance and we then placed on a podium on golden chairs. Everybody were dancing, talking and having fun. For this evening we had a DJ. At this party there was no food but drinks.

A huge wedding cake was presented and we cut it with a sword. All the cake was then cut and passed to the guests.

Then the party continued with more dancing. Every time I stepped on the floor to dance, money was put on my head.

Once the party drew to and end we were placed behind a table with a big table cloth on it. An announcer was standing at the end of the table. People would then present their presents which were either gold or money and the announcer called out what the present was and from who. Gold bracelets were put on my arm and coins attached to the dress. Money was put on the table cloth. When done the table cloth was tied and given to my husband.

Before leaving my husband's nephew took the place of my brother and tied colorful ribbons around my waist. He keep on turning the ribbons around my while my husband presented money. Only when he was satisfied he tied the ribbons and "let me go". We then said goodbye to all the guest and left the salon.

But nooooo... it was not over yet.

We had to visit all the elder members of the family and drink tea.

After that we went to his older brother's house to spend our wedding night. But before I could have him to myself, his friends and brothers attempted to get him drunk ;-)

Finally, we were left alone. But before the actual wedding night could begin my husband had to say a prayer followed by my veil being removed....

Tadaaa... that was it :-)

Details:
- The groom's family usually pays for the wedding, where as it is the bride's family who pays for the engagement party
- Our invitations were delivered by hand, and not returned
- When finding our wedding attire it is important to remember that is shouldn not be too revealing
- Talk to your fiance many times, so you are sure about what is going to happen at the wedding. There are so many different customs
- We got married officially in Denmark, as we did not want to bother with the Turkisk bureaucracy
- If your family is up for making some fun, a sister or friend of yours can eg. block the door when they come to fetch you by sitting in front. Then the groom has to barter (negotiate with money) to be allowed in.

I wish you the best of luck. Turkish weddings are really wonderful.